LoveLump is an artificially-engineered transgenic tissue sculpture. It is created using a variety of animal and vegetable DNA strands, which is then mapped onto a host chromosome palette. It is considered to be one of a handful of new species created from the basic building material now available to us through recent breakthroughs in modern science.
Popularity: 8% [?]
He-Man: The time is ripe for an attack. Why? Because if we don’t attack now, Skeletor will attack first. It is time to show who will be the Masters of the Universe.
Popularity: 8% [?]
Up in Heaven, Alexander the Great, Frederick the Great and Napoleon are looking down on events in Iraq. Alexander says, “Wow, if I had just one of Bush’s armored divisions, I would definitely have conquered India.” Frederick the Great states, “Surely if I only had a few squadrons of Bush’s air force I would have won the Seven Years War decisively in a matter of weeks.” There is a long pause as three continue to watch events. Then Napoleon speaks, “And if I only had that Fox News, no one would have ever known that I lost the Russia campaign.”
Popularity: 7% [?]
So, you’re an American citizen, and have always had the luxury of being pro or con US foreign policy from a safe position of the sidelines? Well, time to pack your bags. Your ass is getting drafted. Vote Dean in 2004.
Popularity: 7% [?]
He’s faster than a speeding bullet. He’s more powerful than a locomotive. He’s able to leap tall buildings at a single bound. Why can’t he get a girl?
Popularity: 7% [?]
Fish farts. And because it’s science, you’re actually helping humanity just by reading the article. Yes you are.
Popularity: 7% [?]
You get what you see. Unless you don’t see it, in which case you don’t get it. Got it?
Popularity: 8% [?]
Want to hear a loonie conspiracy theory? Sure you do, that’s why you’re here. A foreign (read: non-American) intelligence service knew that terrorists were planning an incident on American soil. Maybe they even knew exactly what these terrorists were going to do: hijack one or more commerial passenger jets, and fly them into preselected targets. Let’s say they even knew the location of one of these targets: the World Trade Center in New York, with its impressive twin tower blocks.
So let’s assume our foreign intelligence service pitches up in the general location of Manhattan, perhaps a few days early if they didn’t know when exactly to be there. And they wait. Days, hours, minutes. They wait until 8:45 a.m EDT, when American Airlines Flight 11 out of Boston, Massachusetts, crashes into the north tower of the World Trade Center.
And then our hypothetical foreign spooks make a mistake: they’re taking pictures of the ensuing carnage—like so many other people in New York—but unlike the rest of America they’re smiling. So let us say someone notices, and even in the pre-Homeland Security snitch-on-your-neighbour days she calls the cops.
Let’s assume the police catch these suspicious characters, with enough evidence to prove that they’ve been up to no good. Close to $5,000 stashed in a sock. Double passports. The men identify themselves as Israeli citizens. The FBI takes over, and apparently believe the men (and the company owning the van they were travelling in) to be linked to Israeli intelligence agency Mossad.
On the basis of our loony (and hypothetical) conspiracy theory, we can conclude that the Israeli spooks knew something was up, knew where it was up, and watched it go down. But now, here’s the catch: most of these assumptions are based on verifiable fact.
A concerned citizen did spot the men and their white van behaving in an oddly elated way while photographing the collapsing WTC buildings. The men were apprehended by the police, and the case was transferred to the FBI’s Foreign Counterintelligence Section. And Israel is denying that anything untoward happened.
And perhaps nothing did happen. Perhaps conspiracy theories are too easy to spread in the wake of a disaster like this. And perhaps these aren’t the droids you are looking for.
Popularity: 9% [?]
The Microsoft End User Licence Agreement. With ants. And a magnifying glass for those of poor eyesight but discerning taste in operating systems.
Popularity: 6% [?]
